However right or wrong you are… when it hurts, it just hurts…

I feel so hurt these days.. I see so much hurt these days.. so much that I want to close my eyes and get lost somewhere…

The hurt in the eyes of a 7 year old… when she sees her mother, who has just realized that her man is cheating on her… The little girl might have not have made up her mind on how she sees love, affairs, marriage, extramaritals etc but that hurt would remain with her for long…
The hurt of a teenager who in need, is looking for her father… when he has assumingly sent her far, for a ‘so called better’ life… Every child faces a reality check at some point in life but giving the little girl her first heart break so early isn’t necessary. After all, she has been born and brought up knowing, that she could always always look upto the first man in her life…
The hurt which makes a woman, crazy in love, call another woman to share her story, in the hope that she thinks again about her place in that man’s life ? Although unaware of the man’s side and thoughts, one could easily imagine the hurt which made her call…

Not wanting to even think upon who could be right, little right, justifiably right or other kinds of rights we have in our dictionaries…
the man has all the rights to do things his way, if not happy in a relationship; the father is all good in thinking for himself, his desires… after providing family with the basic comforts; and love affairs no more follow any set patterns and have personalized logics of their own;
but in these quick and ‘too many options’ kind of times we are living in, do we not have little time for second thoughts on things that involve ‘others’? Can’t we just take this much care that, our actions; our words; our doings and our not doings don’t hurt someone… someone so like us…?

I think we should, as some hurts never leave you… they might change you… your outlook… your personality… but they are there in some way or the other…

Learning From Conflict : Tracts For The Times/10

This ‘Learning From Conflict’ is what I have been doing from years… and this book added a dimension to my thought process, which I might not have realized otherwise. Never thought, the way I have been taught my education for 12 years in school, is the cause of my overlooking so much and so many…

be it modern science killing nature

A specific attempt is made, for instance, to help children overcome any hesitation or inhibition that they might feel dissecting for examination a living animal like a frog or rat. No science text discusses the manner in which animals respond to the violence inflicted on them in the course of study by humans.

or bad writings making history a boring subject and hence making me politically and socially handicap.

Conflicts get erased in the desire to discover harmony, tragic events are often forgotten in the search for heroic stories, histories of failures disappear in the grand narratives of success.

The book made me conscious of the way children are molded to become a comfortable part of the modern and developing nation, India is heading towards… This idea of unnecessary importance to the English language, which is helping the children to become a perfect box/piece of the growing factory; how incomplete is our learning, which leaves such a major portion of the country (financially low-class, Hindi speaking, regional heritage etc) ; and how education is cruelly increasing this divide of class ( we can’t even communicate in the same language now, leave behind the ability to understand).

The flaws of our education system might not be overcome in a day or a year but the parents need to be aware, conscious and work to help their kids be aligned to a humane, nature sensitive and a constructive world.

The book is written by Prof. Krishna Kumar who teaches ‘Peace Education’ to would be teachers in Delhi University and has been the Director of National Council for Education Research and Training, New Delhi.

My Experiments with Truth : M. K. Gandhi

I found the book disappointing… I do not understand any idea of strong values and principles which do not give others around the right to use their own sense of judgement…

The way Gandhi used to treat his family, his wife, not sending children to school, not supporting medicines even at death critical situations is difficult to ignore and therefore makes me feel sad towards his ideas of truth. The ideas or experiments which are so single minded and blindly followed do not for me carry much credibility…

I honestly feel that our country would have had multiple Gandhi’s if at all his learnings would have been constrained to only teachings for others and had the floor been left open to each of the individual’s self experiments…

The write up in no way undermines the contributions of the great man…may be this means I need to read more to understand and comment…

The poor girl is so stupid… she does not know, what she loves…

My friends and I, went to watch a very good movie… good movie you know… apt cast, talented director, huge banner… everybody who had watched the movie and met us, said “It’s a very good movie… ” that kind of good…

We all sat together in the theater… we were many… Before the movie started, I could feel the excitement and hear from all directions…, “It’s such a good movie…!” and my friends were glad too, as we all could make it to this good movie…

The movie started… in half an hour, my friend sitting next to me, asked…, “don’t you like it ? it’s such a good one…?!” I didn’t understand and was quiet…

Interval time, everyone around was so thrilled…, started discussing how good the movie was… they asked me to pitch in my comments… I was happy, but also lost… and had no clue if I liked the movie, so was quiet again…

One of them said… “You are so stupid… may be you couldn’t understand… this is what a good movie is all about… you should have been able to make that out by now… an hour is good enough… “
The movie ended… everyone was happy… I was happy too

I said… “I liked the movie, you know… everything together worked for me too… !”

They all laughed and said, “we told you.. you stupid girl… it was so clear… you didn’t understand that time… everybody told you…”

“Yes”, I said… “I couldn’t make out that time, as I was busy enjoying it… I was so much a part of it… every moment…, every bit.. every single thing involved… all this made me really enjoy it… now, when its over, I could see how good it was… how much I enjoyed… what fun… what feeling… and yes, now I can say…, “I really loved it ! ”

They laughed…, ignored my happiness…, reminded me again, that I am stupid… and are already busy, excited about our next good movie !!

N.O.N.S.E.N.S.E.

“I like nonsense — it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope… and that enables you to laugh at all of life’s realities.”

– Theodor S. Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss

SummerHill

“The function of the child is to live his own life – not the life that his anxious parents think he should live, nor a life according to the purpose of the educator who thinks he knows best “ – A. S. Neill

A school whose aim is to make a child interested in life and not in the future security… where happiness is more important than grades… where choice is of the kid and not the parent or teachers…

After reading the book, I could only think whether something like this really exists or I was imagining all the time . This school is functional from around 100 years, located in Suffolk, England and was started by a teacher A. S. Neill. A teacher, who after learning all the wrong methods of dealing with children throughout his career of 40 years, decided to gift the society with an idea… a thought which says,  love and freedom is the only cure for a healthy society… which says,  if only we could allow our kids to play as  much as they want in childhood, would they become sincere, responsible and creative… and so much more… I could end up writing the entire book here…

Going to a school like this, might be dreaming too far as if now, but a hope to keep in mind the very little things which are ignored and have most of the adverse affects in child rearing is not too much. I would suggest all to read the book, its not an instruction manual to deal with our kids but an insight on what are the things that can hold them or even us as adults for that matter back… things which are the basic roots to creeping jealously and hatred within us and our society.

Its an easy read, won’t take much of your time… more information on the school can be read here

A couple of lines from the book:

” The difficult child is the child who is unhappy. He is at war with himself and in consequence, he is at war with the world…”
“All crimes, all hatred, all wars can be reduced to unhappiness”
” I want to see heaven on earth and not on clouds “
” An infant ego shall have all or nothing : it cannot share “

Ek boond…

“Here is the story of a rain drop, apprehensive and scared of being destroyed. Instead, it falls into a seepi and turns in a pearl. A simple, effective and moving poem that assuages the fear of unknown in us when we embark in a new activity or start a new phase of life, and gives us hope.” –Rajiv Krishna Saxena

Poem by Ayodhya Singh Upadhayaya Hariaudh